Become The Fire

“Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it”– r.h. sin

When you think of it, fire doesn’t let anything stop it in its path (except for certain materials, buts lets avoid the technicalities and focus on the bigger picture). Fire will go where it wants to go, not asking for permission and technically not stopping until the oxygen is stopped being supplied to it. That’s how you should be. You should not let anything stop you, you should do what you want to do and never ask for permission and not stop until the end!

The fire shouldn’t be something we fear, yet here we are scared to ignite it. Why? Because for centuries women have been told to suppress the fiery burn within us, the spark just dying to be ignited. There was no place for a woman in the world other than in the house. But guess what? Times are a changing’ and things are not at all what they used to be.

You have the right and the duty to ignite that spark within you, whatever it may be. You have the privilege that many women before us did not have. You have the privilege to become the fire. Don’t fear the fire, never fear the thing that will make you the best version of yourself.

Fire is what led to our survival all those years ago. Even today, more metaphorically speaking, the fire inside of you is what will keep you afloat, happy, surviving, but also thriving.

Become the fire.

You are the fire.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Sarah

 

Why is This Happening to Me?

Sometimes we wonder “Why is this happening to me?” The usual answer that follows is something along the lines of “Life isn’t fair” or “You somehow, in some way deserved whatever is happening to you”. Although those might be true, people often forget that things happen to us because it’s those are the consequences of a series of actions. Our actions, other’s actions, rules that need to be followed, morals or principles that apply all determine the consequence or result of something. Things don’t just happen to you. Things happen to you because many decisions led to that thing happening to you.

At the end of the day, you can think of it in a negative way, or you can see it in a positive way. Recently at my part-time job, I am not getting a lot of hours. Which sucks because the goal of any student working in the summer is to save up as much money as possible. So, I could sit here and wonder, why me? Or I could look at it from a different perspective. I can see this as the universe giving me an opportunity to focus on my blog more, to spend more time with people I’ve been meaning to by haven’t been able to, or maybe to volunteer.

You always have the choice to look at the answer to the “Why is this happening to me?” question and decide how you will react to it. You can see it as a bad thing, and that the universe is trying to ruin your life, or you can see it as the universe forcing you to realize things in your life that need to be dealt with.

But do keep in mind, many things that happen in life, happen because its a way to test us, to make us stronger and to grow as a person. Not all bad things that happen to us are intrinsically bad.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Sarah

Pessimistic –> Optimistic

For most of my teenage years,  up until about a year and a half ago, I was known for being cynical and pessimistic.

In my mind, everything was doomed, the worst-case scenario became the only scenario, and everything could just go wrong at any instant but nothing could ever go right. Quite honestly, looking back at who I used to be, I wonder how people even put up with me. But there came a time where I started looking inwards more, I started realizing that this pessimistic life I was living would not bring me anywhere or make me a better person.

I learned that what you put out into the universe is what you get back. Simply, what you give is what you get.

If you start putting positive energy into the world then guess what? Positivity comes your way! Now you can’t just go and have a positive thought and expect your life to fall into place because that’s just unrealistic. But the idea that if I put positive energy towards others, the world in general and myself, things will start to change dramatically.

My life did not take a 180 turn, but at the same time, it did. What happened was that my mentality changed. The perspective I had of the world was filled with a more positive and optimistic shade rather than the negative and pessimistic lens that had clouded my mind for so long.

There came a point where I couldn’t take it anymore, where I was suffocating myself with my negativity. And you want to know how freaky my life is? I journaled about that day a year ago, today. I look now at where I am and see that day, June 4th, 2017, as the turning point of my life.

I saw that something needed to change and it all began with the way I was thinking

This isn’t to say that as of that day I was a happy-go-lucky-ray-of-sunshine. It took a lot of time to train my brain not to jump to the worst-case scenario, to have faith in the universe and how to be positive in situations where I would normally be negative.

When you actively make the choice that something needs to change, and you recognize your own toxic behaviors, then things will start to change.

Recognize your toxic behaviors, pinpoint what you want and whats been holding you back from achieving these things (usually the toxic behaviors), and find ways to change that mentality.

I hope this is a wake-up call for anyone you who feel stuck. Just know that you are the only person who can change your life, and you can do it any moment.

Feel free to share any experiences down below where you have felt your mentality shift and what that was like!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Sarah

 

Stepping out of your comfort zone

This weekend has definitely been different than any other weekend I could have ever experienced. The only way I could sum up tit up is that I stepped way out of my comfort zone–I mean like I jumped a kilometer out of my comfort zone.  Today I am going to tell you 3 stories or times when I stepped out of my comfort zone and how they changed me, so here they are.

About a month ago this stepping out of my comfort zone began when I went to a zip line obstacle course. One thing you need to know about me is that I am not an outdoorsy gal, and climbing trees is not my strong suit. But here I was with my friends, about 2 hours away from home, in a tree (don’t worry its very safe and you’re attached properly to a harness) and I was shitting myself, for a lack of better words. I had to do the obstacle course, and really there was a point I was going to give up. But my friends encouraged me and kept me going. I finished the obstacle course and felt relieved. It was only on the drive back that I realized just how out of my comfort zone I was. But thanks to my friends and myself, I kept pushing through the anxiety and the stress and just kept going. I would have regretted if I had stopped, and one of my friends at the end even said she was glad I didn’t stop because I wouldn’t have had as much fun and she knew I could do it. A part of me knew I could do it too, but this was very out of my comfort zone. But I did it, I stepped out of my comfort zone and was rewarded with the feeling that I accomplished something I would not normally do and that is a big deal for me.

The second time I stepped out of my comfort zone was this past Friday. My member of parliament for my district (the person who represents us in the Canadian parliament) was hosting a 5 a 7 to get to know the younger crowds in her constituency and to talk about the youth council she wanted to form. Now how is this stepping out of my comfort zone? Well, I went alone to an event where I knew absolutely no one. I literally knew not a single person and had no idea what to expect. Even more shockingly, before and during the event I did not feel anxious at all. This is very new feeling for me because even in basic social situations I tend to get anxious, but with this event, I didn’t. I got there and talked to a few people and was being my true and genuine self. I felt light and alive and just me. It truly felt amazing. I stepped out of my comfort zone and realized that stepping out of my comfort zone doesn’t mean I am abandoning who I am by any means. It just means I am taking myself, the person I am most comfortable with, and dropping in on a situation I’m not used to.

When you are truly comfortable with who you are and just yourself in general, being put into situations you are not used to, becomes a whole lot easier because you have yourself to rely on. I wasn’t anxious because I trusted who I was, and I let myself be me. When we try to construct who we are, we start to care about what other people think and how we will be, how we should act or what we should say, and that’s what causes us to be anxious. Obviously, there are many other reasons, but for me, that’s what starts my anxiety.

Lastly, yesterday I went to a girl’s empowerment summit (I wrote a mini blog post about it yesterday) and I went alone. I mean I was planning to spend 10am-4pm all alone. I truly don’t mind being alone, I like spending time with myself. But what worried me was how were people going to see me? Was anyone going to think I was a loner? But that was not the case at all.

I met so many amazing girls who were so genuine and had beautiful souls. I again was just being me the entire time and everything fell into place. I was not planning to go, but there was a small part of me that was like you need to go!  I acted on that part the night before and next thing you know they were scanning my ticket at the entrance and handing me a goody bag. I stepped out of my comfort zone and ended up being motivated, inspired and in awe of all the absolutely incredible women that spoke at the summit and the girls I met in the audience.

You see stepping out of your comfort zone is not so bad when you trust yourself. When you start to understand that who you are is beautiful, brave, courageous, amazing, inspiring and so many other amazing qualities.Then you too, will be able to leap out of your comfort zone. You need to have your back and have faith in yourself in order to step of out your comfort zone.

This did not happen overnight, and quite frankly I have something today that requires me to step out of my comfort zone and I am not entirely okay with it. But I trust myself and will genuinely be myself and that is what counts.

Be yourself and accept yourself. You will be amazed at just how capable you are of doing things you would not normally do.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful Sunday!
Sarah

Resetting After a Long Semester

Hopefully, you are done with school, or at least very close to the end of it. A special sorry for all of you brave souls who are taking summer classes, you deserve a medal!

This past school year has been beyond brutal as I am sure many of you in school can understand. And the weirdest feeling is that we hope the end is so close, but once we get to the end it feels weird to not have to be studying, stressing or panicking. In a matter of just hours, you can go from intense cramming to having absolutely nothing left to do. While this is a relief, it can also come as a shock, as it does for me every single time the school year comes to an end.

The end of the semester is a rather draining and hectic time of year, and usually pushes students over the edge and into this mental state that is nowhere near healthy. When its over, the only question that remains is how do I go back to normal? How do I get you of this mental state? Which is why today I wanted to share 3 tips or tricks on how to reset or recharge after a long semester.

1) Accept the grades
This one is definitely a hard pill to swallow. We all anxiously wait by our computers and refresh the page a hundred times a day just to see if a new mark was posted by our professors. Once the mark is posted we usually chicken out and avoid looking at it, but eventually, curiosity gets the best of us and we look at the grade.

Once you do check the mark, accepting it is the hardest part. When we get a mark lower than what we expected we feel this disappointment. When we get a good mark, we wonder what we could have done to get an even higher mark. Hopefully, you are noticing a pattern… we never accept that we did the best we could at that moment and in those circumstances. You worked your butt off, put all your energy into your school work, but at the end of the day, there is nothing more you could have done. The mark is in the system and that’s the mark you got. (Obviously, if you believe its unfair for whatever reason, then contest it and fight for the mark you think you deserve.)

Look at your mark and understand that you did what you did and that what you got is what you got. If you want to move on from this school year, you need to accept the mark you got.

2) Reward yourself
Its been a long semester, and you have probably pushed off your needs or wants and overall self-care because it wasn’t on your to-do list. When you reach the end of the semester, there is no problem with treating yourself or rewarding yourself. Plan a mini vacation, treat yourself to a spa day with the girls, go to a museum.

Heck, sleep for 12 hours straight! This is the summer you have nothing else to do! Okay maybe you have other things to do but catching up on your sleep is extremely important.

3) Go with the flow
I also talked about this in my last blog post, but really, I think this will be my motto for the summer. During the semester I plan and schedule everything imaginable, and you need to if you want to stay on top of everything. But during the summer, you might have some commitments to follow, but other than that you probably don’t. Take the summer to just go with things and take whatever comes your way. Someone suggests to go for ice cream, go for ice cream. Spontaneous day trip? Why not! Enjoy the openness of summer and how freeing it can truly be.

Thanks for reading, and to all you students out there you really do deserve this break!!

Have a wonderful day!

Sarah

My First Year of University

You need a break. You need to slow things down and realize that you are only human.

Nearing the end of my first year of university I kept telling myself this, it reached a point where I was so exhausted, I was just dizzy all the time.

When the year started I didn’t realize just what could happen to my me school-wise, life wise and with a part-time job thrown into the mix. I didn’t realize that I couldn’t plan every second because there would be times I would need to switch shifts and it would ruin my perfect studying plan. Or that there would be days where other things took up to much time and I ran out of time for other things.

This school year has been rough, not necessarily because of the course load, but because of life. Life this year had just thrown everything it had at me and continued to knock me to the ground.

The night before my last exam, which was just a few days ago, I had just come home from a shift at work, it was a short one but a hectic one (I work in retail), and I sat down to study and just started crying. It wasn’t because I was worried about that exam, rather it was an accumulation of everything I had been holding in for the past 2 months. I cried and cried and cried. I felt so tired that my eyes kept shutting. As I tried to read my notes I couldn’t read the sentences out loud and I kept getting dizzy. I couldn’t handle it anymore so before 9 pm I went to bed.

The next morning when I woke up I realized just how hard I had pushed myself this semester. I wanted to prove to myself that I could work, go to school, see friends and family and overall maintain a perfect balance. This isn’t to say that that balance is not possible, but I can tell you that it is nowhere near easy. I didn’t have to work, I choose to. I didn’t need to take 5 classes, I choose to. I choose those options because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do all that and hold it together.
But holding it together all the time comes at a cost, one way or another you will reach your breaking point. We forget that we are human and that what we do does not determine or set in stone the future path we will take.

It’s good to have goals, dreams, and aspiration, but at what cost? For me, the cost was losing touch with people close to me, not spending enough time with my family when they needed me the most, and overall hurting my mental health and myself.
All this to say, you do not need to have this perfect balanced life all the time. You are human, you can fall apart and cry, and just be a mess. Its okay to take a break and it’s important to listen to yourself and know your limits.

This might sound negative but besides this, I did truly love my first year of university. I met so many amazing people, and I learned so many new things.
To all those entering university in the fall, just remember that you do not need to do it all and that you need to listen to yourself and how you feel.

This was part of the reason I have been away from the blog, but now summer vacation is here and I fully intend on jumping back into the blog and making it better than ever.

Stay tuned because The Life We Dream Of is back in full force!
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!
Sarah

The Silver Lining

As we all know, life is life. It can be brutal, messy and knock the wind out of you more times than you think it can. This recently happened to me and figuring out how to recover or move on from it has been one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to face.

Its been a week since the situation happened, and only now am I slowly starting to return to my normal self. Except things have changed, too many things really… My relationships with people have changed, the lens I view life through has become a shade darker, and I feel completely alone.

But out of every single bad situation, there is a tiny glimmer of a silver lining. This silver lining happened to teach me one of the most important life lessons I needed to know. It taught me that at the end of the day, I can only truly depend on myself. My relationship with myself, and the confidence that I have, and how I trust myself is the most important thing I will ever have. Because when you feel completely alone with no one to turn to, the only person left is you. Being able to depend on myself is what ultimately got me through, and still is getting me through, this situation.

Everything I will do in the future will be for me, and that I will work and earn everything I want, and no one else will be involved in this. Some of you might think wow she’s turning into a selfish person, and maybe I am. But depending on myself, and being able to trust my intuition and decisions, and love myself is never a bad thing. I simply want to work and focus more of my attention on building a relationship that is stable and will last, with myself.

Silver linings are often hard to swallow because they tend to come out of situations you did not want to happen. But they are in a way the universes way of teaching you an important life lesson.

When shit hits the fan, the only person left to pick up the pieces is you! You are your own best friend, and knowing that fact will bring you comfort, strength, and stability. Being there for yourself is one of the powerful things you can ever do, it takes a lot of strength and bravery.

Be there for yourself.
You need you.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah