19 Things I have Learned in 19 Years

Last year when I turned 19, I wrote a blog post called 18 things I have learned in 18 Years (https://thelifewedreamof.com/2017/09/26/18-things-i-have-learned-in-18-years/). It really made me evaluate this past year, and thought it would be nice to reflect on my year as a 19-year-old. So here are just a few things I have learned.

  1. Being cynical is just a way to deny your feelings
  2. You truly deserve happiness
  3. If someone can’t see your worth, then they aren’t worth being in your life
  4. Things will never happen the way you planned them too
  5. Do not compare yourself to others
  6. Just because you aren’t like everyone else, doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you
  7. Perfection isn’t worth it
  8. Drink water
  9. Push yourself out of your comfort zone
  10. Be there for others
  11. Get your priorities straight
  12. Practice self-care
  13. Appreciate moments that bring you closure
  14. Know that you are enough
  15. You will find someone who will love you, just not right now
  16. Not being in a relationship is okay
  17. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you
  18. Life will knock you down, and you need to learn to pick yourself back up
  19. Its okay to be vulnerable (still working on this one…)

Life is messy, complicated, scary and weird… but somehow that just adds to how amazing life is. 19 was a weird year; I cemented who I was, and I was more selective in who I let take from my energy. 19 was a year of a lot of hardships and trying to hold it all together. I didn’t hold it all together, but I still tried. You don’t have to constantly have it together, its okay to be a mess, weird, crazy and a disaster. You are human, its okay to be human. Here’s to being 20!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

Its been a while…

Where have I been?

Somewhere… Well… nowhere near here. By here I mean the blogging world. I’ve never been consistent with blogging, but I told myself that this summer would be different. I made a video talking about the ambition and goals I had surrounding my blog.  I haven’t watched it in a while, but I can tell you with 1000% certainty that I did not stick to any of that… Am I disappointed in myself? Yes. Do I feel like I failed? Yes. Do I feel like I let myself down? Yes.

Now I have two options, I can either end the blog altogether and officially depart from the blogging world. Or, I could reboot my blog and just continue doing what I love.

I didn’t realize how much I had depended on blogging (me, the person who hates depending on anything or anyone), and how therapeutic it had become for me. Any ideas I couldn’t process or thoughts that I needed to be discussed, I wrote about! My blog was there for me through the good and the bad, and the community of people who read it seemed to like it. I posted because it made me happy because it helped me.

For about the first month and a half, after I stopped blogging, I felt numb. Was it because I wasn’t blogging? Probably not but exploring why I felt numb or sad was usually things I would write about on my blog. Yet I didn’t feel motivated enough.

But then around mid-august, these ideas would pop into my head and I would think “oh that’s a great blog post idea!”. But I didn’t act on it, because well my blog seemed like some far away abstract idea.

Today I was walking downtown, and I felt this electric buzz surge through me, almost like a shock and I forgot what it felt like to feel okay. To be in your element, in a place that inspired you. I forgot that writing, understanding, creating and being around the hustle and bustle is what got me into the grove of things. Its what filled my soul.

I am not lying when I say that, that connection in my head literally just happened now, from writing this. Some people need dancing, drawing, building etc. to get their grove back, to feel like themselves, I apparently need writing.

Even though I am not the best writer, I still want to write. I always sucked at the sentence structure and the grammar, I was much more the gal that focused on the point or the story. But that doesn’t mean I should stop writing…

I don’t fully understand why I stopped blogging just like that, literally for no reason… but I do know why I stopped writing.

I felt like I had nothing to say, and that’s always been an insecurity that I’ve had. I always feel that my thoughts and my story are not worth sharing with the world. And to any of you reading this who might think like this, it’s complete bullshit. Because your story is worth being shared with the world, and its something I have to remind myself every day.

So, am I officially back? I don’t know… I think I need to do a bit more reflecting, but I hope to come back. I really do miss being here…

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!