You need a break. You need to slow things down and realize that you are only human.
Nearing the end of my first year of university I kept telling myself this, it reached a point where I was so exhausted, I was just dizzy all the time.
When the year started I didn’t realize just what could happen to my me school-wise, life wise and with a part-time job thrown into the mix. I didn’t realize that I couldn’t plan every second because there would be times I would need to switch shifts and it would ruin my perfect studying plan. Or that there would be days where other things took up to much time and I ran out of time for other things.
This school year has been rough, not necessarily because of the course load, but because of life. Life this year had just thrown everything it had at me and continued to knock me to the ground.
The night before my last exam, which was just a few days ago, I had just come home from a shift at work, it was a short one but a hectic one (I work in retail), and I sat down to study and just started crying. It wasn’t because I was worried about that exam, rather it was an accumulation of everything I had been holding in for the past 2 months. I cried and cried and cried. I felt so tired that my eyes kept shutting. As I tried to read my notes I couldn’t read the sentences out loud and I kept getting dizzy. I couldn’t handle it anymore so before 9 pm I went to bed.
The next morning when I woke up I realized just how hard I had pushed myself this semester. I wanted to prove to myself that I could work, go to school, see friends and family and overall maintain a perfect balance. This isn’t to say that that balance is not possible, but I can tell you that it is nowhere near easy. I didn’t have to work, I choose to. I didn’t need to take 5 classes, I choose to. I choose those options because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do all that and hold it together.
But holding it together all the time comes at a cost, one way or another you will reach your breaking point. We forget that we are human and that what we do does not determine or set in stone the future path we will take.
It’s good to have goals, dreams, and aspiration, but at what cost? For me, the cost was losing touch with people close to me, not spending enough time with my family when they needed me the most, and overall hurting my mental health and myself.
All this to say, you do not need to have this perfect balanced life all the time. You are human, you can fall apart and cry, and just be a mess. Its okay to take a break and it’s important to listen to yourself and know your limits.
This might sound negative but besides this, I did truly love my first year of university. I met so many amazing people, and I learned so many new things.
To all those entering university in the fall, just remember that you do not need to do it all and that you need to listen to yourself and how you feel.
This was part of the reason I have been away from the blog, but now summer vacation is here and I fully intend on jumping back into the blog and making it better than ever.
Stay tuned because The Life We Dream Of is back in full force!
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!