The Other Side of Confidence

Recently I published a post called “The power of feeling confident” and it resonated with quite a few people. That day I felt on top of my game, I felt amazing in my skin, my hair was cooperating, and it was sunny outside which always puts me in a better mood.

But today, the tables on confidence have turned. This weekend I have to go clubbing, it has been something I have pushed off and made so many excuses to not go but I reached a point where I ran out of excuses and if I didn’t go I think my friends would be beyond mad at me. This for me at least, takes a lot of confidence. I was just in the changing rooms at forever 21 and everything I tried on just looked weird. It was too cropped so showed this part I didn’t like, or it made me look fat or strange. I was looking for tops I thought were clubbing tops, but in no way did they make me feel amazing or comfortable. I tried on a top with my jeans and couldn’t believe how fat my hips and thighs looked. I was in this deep dark moment of self-hatred and I quickly realized I needed to get out of it.

I left the changing room and went to look other tops that were not any means grandma tops but were not overly revealing or clubbing material. I think a huge part of confidence is accepting yourself as you are. I had to accept that cropped tiny tops were not for my body shape or my personality, but there are tons of other girls that could totally rock it. I had to shift my mind a bit because it was only according to my mind that my thighs looked huge. No one else saw that but me and if someone did, who cares?  Because I can guarantee you they don’t even care that much either.

Confidence is a funny thing, sometimes you feel like you want to crawl into your bed and never look in the mirror ever again. Other times, you want to take 4903 pictures of yourself because you feel amazing. It can also do a 180 or change at the flip of a switch. The key to not letting it consume you is to accept who you are and every single part of you. I know it takes time and work, trust me I go through it every single day.

You also need to realize that clothing wise you don’t have to completely jump of your comfort zone, obviously don’t be afraid to do so, but baby steps to help. I’m much more of a classic chic gal myself so trying to style myself for clubbing is out of my comfort zone. But once I realized that there could be a middle point or a baby step, then I understood that I don’t need to change who I am.

At the root of it all, I felt like I was changing who I was by trying to dress up as someone I was not. I am so glad that a part of me recognized this because it made me realize that I am who I am. Staying true to who you are, brings you to this reality that being yourself is comfortable and you don’t need others approval or compliments to make you feel good in your skin. It feels just right, and you can feel amazing. The other day when my confidence was up in the charts, I was being and dressing as my truest self.

The key to confidence, in my opinion, is to be yourself. Realize that by being yourself you can tackle anything. And if anyone says anything, screw them. You are genuinely amazing without their approval, and if they comment about what you feel amazing in, then they do not appreciate you or know you well enough.

Be yourself, and it will help build your confidence. Trust that how and who you are is exactly the way you are supposed to be and that you look fantastic no matter what you are wearing.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!

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