*Disclaimer: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, you live your life the exact way you want to live it and feel exactly what you want to feel*
Out of a group of friends of mine, I am the only one to have never been in a long-term or serious relationship. I know they won’t question more into it because they know that I am a rather private person. But I know they wonder, how can you be a 19-year-old and not have been in a relationship yet? Most people would jump to the conclusion that its because I have insecurities, and I do, but that’s not the main reason. Some might just understand that I haven’t met someone who would be worth my time, which is true, but not the full reason.
You see after being single for so long and witnessing relationships around you and the downsides of them, relationships just seem to be… well downright terrifying. At which point I should probably explain why. Over time, I have learned how to become independent and be there when people need me to be. Because let’s face it, when a friend or someone close to you is in a relationship their priorities will change, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s a normal part of life. But when you’re the only one not on that bandwagon, you sort of have to learn how to depend on yourself at times. This is not to say that the people around me completely abandoned me or anything, but more that I knew what was to come and I wanted to make sure I would be okay.
So, throughout the years I learnt how be there for myself, when others had other priorities to attend to. And again, this isn’t some oh please pity me situation, because I never saw it as a bad thing. I became very private and kept many things to myself, because I thought that’s what it meant to be independent, to deal with things alone… and I know now that, that is not how you handle being independent or even how you should handle all situations. But habits are hard to break, and that habit has stuck around. So, when I did start dating someone, the thought of opening up to them, becoming vulnerable and breaking down this barrier I had spent so long reinforcing, scared me.
However, rather than do all that, I did what I did best, I ran and I dealt with it on my own. I did not want to be a burden, but nor did I want to explain to anyone that I was emotionally unavailable, but technically available in the dating world. Being single has not been a bad thing, and I honestly don’t think it is. I have had this journey of creating and finding myself, which I think everyone should experience. Which consequently led me to become very assertive of who I am and what I want, which intimidated people, and that did not help in how people perceived me, or how I perceived people perceiving me.
To sum it up, being single has advantaged me in ways some others may never get to experience, but it has also made me too independent, if that’s even a thing. And I am not saying that my way of going through life is necessarily right, or any other way is wrong. But I just wanted to show you how being single has its advantages and its disadvantages. And whether you are in a relationship or not, you are going to have to learn how to deal with the consequences that come from both situations.
Thank you and Have a Wonderful day!