We constantly have this idea that everything around us happens for a reason, or you could be on the other side of the fence and believe that we have total control over everything that happens to us.
If we look at one side, the idea that ‘everything happens for a reason’ does sound comforting, but only for a short amount of time. But it’s the long-term situation that poses an issue. When we say the expression ’everything happens for a reason’ we expect to one day find out that reason. What people tend to forget most, is that there are quite a lot of things that happen in the world that we can’t explain, because there is no reason tied to it. Things just happen, sometimes they are amazing, and other times they bring sadness, grief, or heartbreak. I am not dismissing the idea that everything happens for a reason because many things do happen for a reason. But there are some situations in life when people say that to comfort themselves or others, but in the long run, it hurts them even more. Life is half control and the other half is just chance.
Say you are applying for a job, it is in your control to fill out all the requirements, and do everything you could possibly need to qualify for the job. Once it is in the hands of the employer, the control is no longer there. This is when everything happens for a reason can come in, but be warned once again, reason does not come with a snap of your fingers. Life can always go multiple ways; you can either get the job, or not get the job and get a better one later on, or just not find a job at all. When we say everything happens for a reason, I think what we really mean is, I did everything I could to get what I wanted, but it just didn’t happen.
There is a more touchy side to this, one that I think every single person on this planet has experienced. Losing a loved one is a difficult situation, but for some reason, we say everything happens for a reason… ignoring the true matter of fact, that lives do end and that no one is eternal. We use it as a comforting statement because we think it is helping but actually, it isn’t. People search for this reason for decades even after their loved ones have passed away… why? Because it brings a sense of closure, but never an actual legitimate reason.
In a way, the expression everything happens for a reason brings this idea that you need to keep going no matter what. That if you get knocked down it happened for a reason, so you could learn to get back up. The expression can change depending on how you see it, and honestly, I would say to not disregard it entirely, but to take it with a grain of salt.